Leaving Baltimore

When I stopped shamelessly flirting for all of 2 seconds with him, I actually had a very good conversation the other night with a friend of mine about music and about the music scene in Baltimore in particular. He urged me to leave. If I'm serious about finding success, I don't have many years left to do it in the genre of music that I do, and Baltimore just doesn't have the audience that I'm looking for. I have 2 say, I've often thought the very same thing. I know what's been keeping me here. I say 2 myself, "if I can't make a buzz here how am I ever gonna do it in someplace like NY or LA where the competition to be heard is a trillion times greater?" I say 2 myself, "U can find an audience anywhere. If U build it they will come." When really the truth is ... the reason I'm still in Baltimore is fear. Fear of failure, fear of going out there and falling on my face, fear of poverty and losing everything I have chasing a dream.

In all honesty, I haven't really done all I can do yet here in Baltimore. I've only had one "real" show here with a band. I'm not gonnna give up on Baltimore just yet now that I've finally got a little momentum happening. But I know I can't stay here indefinitely. Many people have told me to go to Europe, the market over there is more eclectic and would embrace my style of music more than they will here. Some people told me to go to Canada (it's too friggin' cold in Canada!) I don't know. I truly believe that if I can't first make a little buzz in my own hometown, I have no business going anywhere else.

So, I'm not giving up. I'm at a place right now in my "music career" that I haven't been at thus far. I think I should stay on this road and re-evaluate things in 6 months to a year.

Some people have also said "Baltimore is a place you get stuck in."

Nope. I'll leave eventually. Just don't know where or when yet.

"Everybody goes 2 Hollywood. They wanna make it in the neighborhood." - Queen Madge (aka Madonna)

And the Award Goes To ...

So, it's Oscar night. I lovingly refer 2 the Oscars as the "gay man's superbowl". I have my wine and my chips and my ballot cast and I anxiously await 2 see who Chris Rock makes fun of tonight. It's weird this year cuz I've only seen one of the nominated movies (Ray) and there really aren't any frontrunners (besides Jamie Foxx). So, it will be interesting to see who wins the little pool I have going. It really could be anyone, but secretly I hope I win. I could use a lil' extra cash.

I'd like 2 thank all the little people who go out and spend $12 on my movie so that I can live in a Beverly Hills Mansion! Thank U all!

WTF - The Things Some Kids Will Do

It's WTF Day and this lil' news item was just 2 cute. It comes courtesy of Chuck Shepherd once again:

The Roanoke (Va.) Times reported on Jan. 17 that a Wytheville police officer had to rescue a 9-year-old boy who, with time on his hands waiting for a school bus on a "bone-deep cold" morning, decided to find out what would happen if he licked a metal pole. While awaiting someone to bring warm water to free the boy, the officer and the kid had the following conversation: "Have you learned anything?" "Uh-huh." "Are you going to do this again?" "Uh-uh." [Roanoke Times, 1-17-05]

Normally, I would ask "what the f*ck was that dumb ass kid thinking?", but I'm pretty sure I glued my tongue to an ice cold lamp post when I was around that age. Talk about freezer burn! Don't know why I did it, then again I don't know why I put my mouth on half the things I do!

Shut-up!

Chinese Proverbs

So, I didn't have WTF Day yesterday. Nothing made me go "what the f#ck?" I guess I'm still reeling over the biggest mind f*ck of all last week ... realizing the person I was ready to give all my heart and love to really didn't give a flying shit about me.

So, instead of WTF this week, I figured I'd share some wise Chinese Proverbs with U. Enjoy!

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
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Man with one chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch ass should not bitefingernails.
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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
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Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**smile**

CD Release Show 1 

CD Release Show 3

CD Release Show 4

CD Release Show 5

CD Release Show 6

Dreamweaver Help

I will gladly $$pay$$ someone to show me how to update my website ... or to just do it for me. I've been trying to figure this shit out 4 weeks and I'm about 2 toss my computer out the friggin' window!

Smiles!

I'm a Gay Hip - Hop Star!

On a good news front, I'm featured in an article about gay hip hop on www.afterelton.com. You can check out the full article here. In it Robert Urban says:

From Baltimore comes funk-pop sensation Saturn. Like the musical love-child of a Prince/James Brown/Janet Jackson 3-way, Saturn combines soulful, gospel-influenced singing with his own brand of sexy (if not downright licentious), whispered-in-your-ear seductive rap come-ons. To experience this handsome rising star croon, rap, dance, vogue, charm and effervesce his way through a live concert is to witness perhaps the hardest-working gay man in show biz. In addition to a voice this guy has some serious original moves.

Saturn's debut album, The Virgin Poet, received enthusiastic praise for its socially conscious and emotionally raw content. Check out this rap from the track “Angels in Flight”:
Walking the world with my rose colored glasses / Making a note of everything that passes / When all around me is destruction and sadness / Pushing us all 2 the edge of madness / I open my ears, I hear “nigger” and “faggot” / Shit, it's time 2 pull the trigger, I've had it / Open your eyes, punk, that's right I dropped u / What u gonna do now that a black mo' Got u? / Why don't u try these? My rose colored glasses / And maybe you'll see me in a different fashion

Saturn now turns up the heat with his new CD Deviant. This ultra-homoerotic album contains some of the most unashamedly promiscuous gay lyrics this listener has ever heard. From the title song, also called “Deviant”:
It's hard. Do U want it inside of U 2 groove until u feel the cosmos move? / U lookin' like I lost my mind. Well, I can see through your thin disguise. / I can feel your body calling me. Fuck the world, once you're inside my rings / I'm gonna make u shake and, baby, make u scream. / Have U open, boy, on your knees!

Pretty cool! Afterelton.com is a great new site 4 gay entertainment, too. Definitely have 2 link that one.

"Boy 2 Boy ... I could get addicted!"

Why Does It Hurt So Bad?

So, it's over. My relationship is over after only 3 months, before it ever really began. I didn't realize how much I loved this boy because I didn't think it would hurt this bad, but it's killing me. What kills me worse is I think I made the right decision. All he has to do is pick up the phone and call me or say, "wait, let's talk about this. I want to be with U." But he hasn't done any of that and I don't think he's going 2. My question to myself is how could I have fallen for someone who is so clueless, selfish and insensitive, I mean he's always been this way from day one. It's not like I didn't know what I was getting into. Then I just think about the way I felt when we were together, the way it felt when we clung to each other like we were the only two people in the world who understood just how much we needed each other, the way it made my stomach weak whenever I made him smile or laugh, or the way my heart jumped everytime I saw his name ringing on my caller ID. The sincerity of his kiss. If nothing else he said was really sincere, I believed in his kiss. So simple and so passionate (albeit in the beginning so frustrating! Who in the hell doesn't like 2 french?). And the saddest part is I'll never know these feelings with him again ... unless he calls me ... but I'm not holding my breath.

I won't lie though. Everytime my cell phone rings I'm gonna hold my breath and pray in vain that it's him.

How long will it take b4 I start 2 feel normal again?

WTF - Semen Makes U Happy

You're probably reading the title of the post and saying: "what the f*ck?" And that's precisely the point because it's WTF Day! (4 those new to reading my lil blog, I have WTF day every Tuesday).

So, this little article in New Scientist magazine says in fact that "semen makes you happy. That's the remarkable conclusion of a study comparing women whose partners wear condoms with those whose partners don't." There's a full article on this subject about how women who use condoms or (*gasp*) go for long periods with out sex are at a higher risk 4 depression. You can read the full article here.

Ok, first of all, if I'm depressed, a little hot boy milkshake always helps 2 get me out of a foul mood and I didn't need a damn study 2 tell me that fact.

Secondly, and here comes the WTF element of this story, why did they do a study on this? Surely, there are worthier things to be researched. Surely the money and the time and resources it took for this "science project" could have been allocated to something so much more useful. All the poverty and hopelessness and starving people and worthy charities that need money and we spend money on stupid shit like finding out whether or not gettin' cum is a factor in depression. I once remember in high school watching a documentary about all the ways our government wastes money. This one particular man always stuck out in my mind. He worked in the consumer dept. or something like that and his sole job was to run tests on things like the thickness of ketchup. His salary 4 this? $250,000.00 a year. And this was in the early nineties.

How much money does our government waste? Someone should do a study on that.

"Ready or not, here I come!"

RollerCoaster Ride

Why is it we always want what's wrong 4 us? Why is it I still haven't learned how 2 say "no"? How come I always listen 2 my heart over my head?

When the train pulls back into the station, I've got 2 get off this rollercoaster ride. Either I find a nice, easy, stable ride or my ass is leaving the park.

And I won't be back this time.

Seriously.

... cuz everytime I blink I see U ...

Men Find My Hot Spot

That's right. According to the Associate Press, "Astronomers using a giant telescope atop a volcano have discovered a hot spot at the tip of Saturn's south pole."

giant telescope
volcano
hot spot
tip of my south pole

Come on, folks, this is just way too easy! There's gay porn written all over this one! If I wasn't so stuck on trying 2 make it in the music biz, this little scenario might have been my breakthrough role!

"I've got the magik stick..."

The Road to Riches

IndieMusician.com has an interesting tidbit up today about How to Make a Million Dollars. I've always known I would be rich someday. Yep, I'm still waiting, LOL. This article actually does have some good advice though. It kind of coincides with this book that I've been reading called "How to Think and Grow Rich". This book should have been taught in school. They teach you so much bullshit you never need at a liberal arts school, why can't they arm you with tools like this? Well, I'm glad I got turned onto it. And it feels good to know that most of the things that I'm reading about how to be successful in what you do ... are things that I'm already doing.

And I haven't given up yet! I must persist!

Did I mention how happy I am right now? Who knew that being taken could feel so good?

"Hey, I ain't got no money, but honey I'm rich on personality!" - Prince

It's Official!

Ok. So, u know the boy? The one I've blogged about here and there since November? The one that pissed me off just last week for disappearing on me ... again?! The one that makes my insides dance everytime I see him? Yeah, that one. Well, today it is official. I can no longer call him "the boy". He is now "the boyfriend".

I'm a little elated here and more than a little scared. U should have seen the smile on my face when he called and asked if we could "go out?" At first I didn't know what the hell he meant cuz I was like "we ARE going out, u knucklehead." But then it dawned on me exactly what he meant and I glowingly said "of course." U'd think I was in high school. This is what I've been reduced 2.

Well, one foot in front of the other ... here we go!

"I dream of opening my eyes and finding U right by my side ..."

WTF - Hot Sex in the Barracks

This week's entry for WTF Day is a puzzler. It certainly made me go "hmmmm!" Chuck Shepherd brings us this tasty and interesting bit of info:

Nonlethal war tactics suggested by an Air Force research team in the 1990s were made public in December by the military watchdog organization Sunshine Project and included a recommendation to expose enemy troops to powerful aphrodisiacs in order to distract them into lustful hookups with each other (irrespective of gender). (The Pentagon said the idea was dropped almost immediately, but the Sunshine Project said it was discussed as recently as 2001.) Other ideas: giving the enemy severe halitosis (so they could be detected within a civilian population), overrunning enemy positions with rats or wasps, and creating waves of fecal gas. [New Scientist, 1-14-05]

All I want 2 know is do they REALLY have the capability to make an aphrodisiac so strong it would make any straight man want to do ungentlemanly, naughty and deliciously explicit things 2 me? If this is true, why don't we know about it? Why isn't the gay mafia selling it on the underground market? It must be worth a fortune. I'm telling U, 10% is just not enought 2 work with! If they had warfare like that going on ... sign me up, Uncle Sam! See, I'm all about the "make love, not war" mantra anyway. This could actually go a long way towards world peace! This "aphrodisiac" was assuredly invented by an ex hippie.

In any case, all of these inane "nonlethal war tactics" just made me say: What the f*ck??!!